Mud Flaps!

As I manage almost an entire ride without a farmyard splatter down one side of my body, almost... I am reminded how much of a struggle it is for people to realise it is really antisocial to not have mudguards fitter this time of year. Even people with 32C pimply gravel tyres manage it. It is not hard. You do not even need the drillings and mount points these days, and the "clearance issue" can be a mute tone too. See here is a thing - I have drier feet. I don't have a chamois feeling like a nappy overdue a change, and there is no brown macro splatter from the rear tyre rooster tail up my back - I do not wish to be wearing yours.

However - here is the rub: Mudguards these days do not seem to come with flaps, or just plain do not go down far enough.

Stopping a few inches short does mean you don't get a wet filthy back and a moist rear end - however, it's just enough to give your drafting rider an effect akin to taking a  hosepipe to the mouth should you hit water. While the occasional Belgian Toothpaste is unavoidable - through someone elses thougtlessness this becomes a tres bad look, tres bad indeed.

SKS Chromeplastic appears to have changed their profile (from akin to a half box section, to more of a guttering shape - minimising side rub) - retain the front flap, and shorten the rear and lost the flap. Suboptimal.

After previous years of attempting a fix with epoxy or pop rivets - I appear to have found a simplistic and effective solution.

To effect this  modification successfully you will require:

1x 4-pint Plastic Milk Carton, empty;

1x Phat zip tie;

1x Scissors up to the job of cutting the plastic bottle;

1x Wooden peg;

1x Drill with a woodworking bit a little wider than your zip tie;

1x Kettle, half full, fresh water, on.

Take empty clean plastic 4-pint milk container, liberate the long edge opposite the handle as a whole thing. Now attempt poorly to fashion a quasi-symmetrical rectangle around its moulding seam as a guide. You may wish to narrow this in the top to just wider than the mudguard. You will certainly want to round off those edges to avoid surprisingly stabby-ness going on. Remember - keep it wider than you think at the bottom, and if it starts to curve in - make that super near the top.

Placing a wooden peg between the tyre and bottom of the guard. Wedge the plastic between the peg and guard. Rotate the wheel forward to drag this up further.

Take the drill with the piloting point on the end, and find a point half an inch up from the bottom of the guard and make good with the go. Chromeplastic guards are remarkably resilient! They are two layers of plastic with metal between - hence the name. Be sure you have gone through all three layers. For me, the little disks cut did not slip away - but you knew you were through. Over an inch above this - put through another hole. Job done.

Pull out the plastic and the wooden peg.

Chances are you should now have two very definite holes in your plastic card. Great success. Run these through with some scrap if they are not full depth.

Pass a suitably phat zip tie through the top hole in the guard, through the top hole in the flat, and then back through the flap bottom hole, and bottom guard hole - essentially stitching the two together.

Synch that suck down as tight as it goes - and you will note the flap conforms to the shape of the guard. No rattle, no glue, no rivets to rust. I am a very happy boy indeed.

Now. After clearing up this minor mess (or in case of failure - all the broken things) - and retire back indoors to use the Kettle to make half of the Tea and Medals you have now earned.

Bravo on your new found love from your fellow cyclists - you are a scholar, a craftsman, and a gentleman.




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